My kids (when they were little) used to say to me “Dad, what do you mean you don’t know what to do to help me?” It did not matter what the problem was, I am “Dad” and we “Dads” are supposed to be all powerful.
Of course made me feel like the worst Dad in the world for a brief second – until I realized that I had never been there before so how could I know what to do. In response, I used to say to my kids, “this is new for me, I have never been a Dad on (pick a date) July 18, 2012. And I never had to deal with this situation before on this date…” This confused them, and they thought I was just buying time, I was!
My banter would continue for a moment longer until we both realized we had a few options; think it through as a team, ask for help, and lastly take an educated stab at dealing with it based on experience. We usually picked all three options and unpacked the giant box of solutions to find the one we could best adopt.
My kids are older now, not fully grown and I am not an empty nester, however we still trouble shoot the same way, we don’t need to unpack the box like we did, as a team we have figured out the steps to take. It is a smoother process now but always a learning experience. The biggest takeaway is that I have adopted this into my whole life, not just parenting.
It is pretty simple:
- I don’t know it all and never will
- I have not lived tomorrow yet – so don’t think I have
- Allow my past experiences to help me with tomorrow’s challenges
- Do not be afraid to ask for help.
- I don’t know it all and never will
I am yet to find a friend, family member, colleague, client (you name it) to find fault in me saying – “I don’t have an answer right this moment – let me get back to you” – the only mistake you can make here is not getting back to them.
Not So Random Thinking from Larry Alford 