Everything has a backstory, our actions and reactions are molded by them. I have written about you get what you give on my blog. Sometimes you give what you got, and it is not always good…
Backstories. Some are deeply rooted into our personalities and others are as simple as what our experience was getting our morning coffee. The experience, good or bad, shapes us sometimes for the long haul and often just for the day.
“Wow – someone randomly bought me my morning coffee – it looks like it will be a good day! Ughhh some one just cut me off in traffic and I spilled my FREE morning coffee….”
Who knows if this will be a good start to the day or a bad one. If a bad one, unfortunately it is often taken out on a very unsuspecting third party.
So what’s the backstory? How do we prepare for it not to rule us? That is for you to figure out, (but here is how I minimize it). If you are willing to be vulnerable and honestly share that you are human and have a backstory molding you today, you may just get by without it ruling you.
“Sorry I am late and cranky I spilled my coffee all over myself in traffic”. See now you can start the day without a bad backstory – here is the fun part. “Bummer I spilled my coffee, some random stranger bought it for me, for no reason at all!!” Now you have a good story to start your day. Undo the bad!
We also need to recognize that the people we interact with have a backstory too. I find that I need to always be ready to investigate it best I can, understand it and relate to it.
I recently saw the play ADMISSIONS granted the topic was timely as I have one in college and the other preparing her search. It was about the admissions at a small prestigious boarding school and the college search for some of their students. Plenty of room for conflict! The interaction behind all of the characters would never have worked if you did not learn through the play their backstories.
If we all take a few steps to learn each other’s stories I do believe relationships will be smoother and stronger.