Say “you are sorry” and mean it

Do we say it often enough and when we do is it said with intention? Or is it said with other motives in mind?

I am someone who wants to learn from my mistakes and wants to allow others too as well. The power of saying you are sorry with intention and no motive other than to be sorry is well, POWERFUL. Too often we say “I’m Sorry” with hollow intentions because we think it is the right thing to say. Are we sorry? Do we mean it? Did we make a mistake? Are we saying we are sorry but our ego is telling us that we said it because we are supposed to say it?

I hope it is not ego driven and I hope it is with intention. In fact it does not matter the relationships of the people or groups we say it to. Regardless of a personal relationship, a work relationship or a stranger, we are all allowed to make mistakes and we are all allowed to be sorry.

I have found that being sorry, with intention and growing from it has allowed me to create better relationships in all my groups. My motive is to recognize what I did and hopefully not repeat it.

#saysorry #groweachday


It is that simple –

respect people and you will get respect

be charitable and you will get charity

love and you will be loved

be willing to forgive, and you will get forgiveness

The mistake we make is that too often the motive is How do I get respect? How can I be loved? How will others be kind? We then campaign for that emotion from others – some even go as far a to buy respect and kindness.

Make it natural, not forced – Make it a part of your life. Practice kindness. Practice it so often that it is just natural.

We are not perfect and we live in an imperfect world – but it is simple – we learned it before kindergarten – treat people the way you want to be treated.

You Get What You Give

Create it, Own It, Change it – and be open to growth

When you create or develop is it for you and you alone? Is it for others? Is it collaborative?

I follow Seth’s Blog #sethgodin #sethsblog on a regular basis and I particularly liked his post today about Artists and Freedom. It ends with the statement – The responsibility to own what we make. “

I agree with the blog whole hardheartedly, however I also recognize that in a world where we are creating and sharing you also need to be open for growth and criticism (good and bad). This does not mean you have to change your creation, idea, direction or plan.

It does mean you should evaluate the creation, did you make it solely for yourself? Or to share? If you did it for you and you alone and you are happy with it, that should be enough. However if your creation is to be shared and has a direction or a plan, be open to others thoughts on it – listen and be willing to change and pivoting – work together and be ready for growth. Collaborate and create together

The biggest challenge is to know the difference and when to pivot and when to be happy with your work.

Teach a person to fish……

Regardless of your position in life, one thing for certain is you do not know everything and you are not in charge. The mistake we make is when we think we do and are.

I just read the article “To Be a Great Leader, You Have to Learn How to Delegate Well” in the HBR #HBR. My take away:

Delegate – and empower… show others you do not know it all and can not do it all. Surround yourself with many people who can enlighten you. Don’t just delegate to them, ask assistance – be willing to learn. Know and learn how to enlighten others. Know that we are all leaders in one relationship or another.

The more you ‘take-on’ the less gets done as a leader. In fact you are less of a leader.

The article sums it up perfectly in the second paragraph “The upper limit of what’s possible will increase only with each collaborator you empower to contribute their best work to your shared priorities.

Think about deploying this in all areas of your life, not just at work. It will change how you do things.

#delegate #Jessesostrin #empower

I was never a theater kid but wish I was!

I recently read this article 7 Life Skills Every Theater Kid Will Learn and was hooked, these stand true not only for a Theater Kid, but for so many other kids (and adults) stepping out of their normal comfort zone.  

1. Self­-Confidence 

2. Creative Thinking & Problem Solving

3. A Broad Human Perspective

4. Follow Through

5. Teamwork

6. The ability to work under pressure.

7. Sheer Enjoyment

I immediately asked myself: “Which of these 7 could you live without?”   None, of course, at least for me. I need all these skills all the time. The problem is that I do not know in what order I will need them or when I will need to deploy which one.  As adults we do not have as many opportunities to continue to develop these skills. We do have the foundation of these skills and we do have the daily opportunity to re-connect to them and enhance them.  The critical question is when and how. Which ones do you struggle with (try something new and reconnect to those first)

Which of the 7 are the most important to you?  I would love to hear why?

The Worst Two Words Ever Said ???

Or at least the worst words that could be said in my house growing up – what are they?


Now saying that would get me in trouble – I was told it was censorship and stifles people’s ideas.  I think my Dad was right.  It is mean, and the spirit of saying “shut up” verbally or non- verbally does not allow thoughts to flow.

There is a general accepted level of respect we all owe each other and when we close ourselves off to other’s thoughts and ideas, we shut off that respect.  This does not mean that all ideas are good for all people or that I need to respect everyone.  However, if I do not listen, then I can not make a judgement for myself.

This flows beyond the kitchen table (as it was when I grew up) and beyond the conference room.  It should travel with you everywhere you go.

Allow ideas to flow, allow people to say them, allow yourself to hear them and then make your own decision about the thought or idea. 

There is no growth if we do not allow people to talk and express themselves.

Hey – wanna hear the words that I was allowed to say at the kitchen table???

#shutup #nevershutup #shareideas

Who do you think we are

I was recently asked, “ who do your clients think you are (And who Axis is)?”

Big pause……. big elevator speech ……

I am a solution provider. A person who helps tell a story. The story is told by proper messaging tied into a memorable experience most often (almost always) associated with a tangible take away. I solve problems.

To me that says so much… and is also very concise.
This theme has been absorbed into my every day life. As a dad, partner, friend and community member, I feel it is so critical to have an intention and tell a story with my actions—regardless  of work or play. (It is a work in progress.) Tell a story, make it relatable, make it memorable and make it impactful. Professionally, I make it live  in a tangible take away so others can help tell your story.

Let’s tell stories together

If I ever leave this world alive by Flogging Molly

why do I love this song and the energy of this band

I love music and I love lyrics. When truly listened to songs speak to me, both the words and the sounds. Thank you #floggingmolly for giving us this song.

Simply put this song reminds me of my responsibilities in life, the world, my community and my family & friends. How do I make sure that I Leave This World Alive and what does it mean to me? — It is not necessarily physically leaving the world, (but maybe it is) , however to me it is moving on from anything. I want to make sure that I leave a positive lasting impact. It is easier than you think.

At the end my biggest reward to to pass on my positive and productive habits to others.

Be an example. We all should be an example.

Act as you want to be treated, randomly help others to keep their world alive.

Pass on your morals through your actions and not through your power.

What can you do today to make someone smile? Make it random, make it easy, do it again tomorrow and the next day. There will be two results – first it will become habit forming and natural to you. And second, and very likely others will pass on the smile.

Let’s all leave this world alive.

I have never done that at this moment in time before.

My kids (when they were little) used to say to me “Dad, what do you mean you don’t know what to do to help me?” It did not matter what the problem was, I am “Dad” and we “Dads” are supposed to be all powerful.

Of course made me feel like the worst Dad in the world for a brief second – until I realized that I had never been there before so how could I know what to do. In response, I used to say to my kids, “this is new for me, I have never been a Dad on (pick a date) July 18, 2012. And I never had to deal with this situation before on this date…” This confused them, and they thought I was just buying time, I was!

My banter would continue for a moment longer until we both realized we had a few options; think it through as a team, ask for help, and lastly take an educated stab at dealing with it based on experience. We usually picked all three options and unpacked the giant box of solutions to find the one we could best adopt.

My kids are older now, not fully grown and I am not an empty nester, however we still trouble shoot the same way, we don’t need to unpack the box like we did, as a team we have figured out the steps to take. It is a smoother process now but always a learning experience. The biggest takeaway is that I have adopted this into my whole life, not just parenting.

It is pretty simple:

  • I don’t know it all and never will
  • I have not lived tomorrow yet – so don’t think I have
  • Allow my past experiences to help me with tomorrow’s challenges
  • Do not be afraid to ask for help.
  • I don’t know it all and never will

I am yet to find a friend, family member, colleague, client (you name it) to find fault in me saying – “I don’t have an answer right this moment – let me get back to you” – the only mistake you can make here is not getting back to them.